10 rules for chase scenes everywhere

In honour of Arya Stark’s epic chase scene with The Waif in the latest episode of Game Of Thrones, here are our 10 rules for chase scenes everywhere.

A fruit cart must be overturned Because we have no sympathy for small businessmen just trying to make a living.

It can be a vegetable cart, too Any food that comically rolls on the ground, really.

Or cardboard boxes Wooden crates full of live chickens are hilarious, too.

We must see the horrified reaction of the fruit cart owner when his wares are destroyed Why are we laughing at his pain? What’s wrong with us?

We will never know the back story of the fruit cart owner Does he have 10 kids to feed? Is he studying to become a lawyer at night school? Is he a political refugee from his home country? Don’t pretend that you care.

Pedestrians can double as fruit carts They should add comments like “hey”, “woah”, “look out” and “he’s crazy”.

The authorities are powerless to act Apart from shaking a fist at them as they pass.

At least one melon must explode Or a sheet of glass being comically carried by two men.

There must be at least one detour down a small alley A convenient escape from the scene of the crime. Meanwhile, the fruit cart owner must face the daunting task of explaining to his family why they won’t be eating tonight.

At no point will the hero or heroine express any remorse for destroying another person’s livelihood They won’t even look back at the weeping fruit cart owner as they pass. Do you still want to pin up their poster on your wall? Of course you do.

My ebook military thriller, The Spartan, is out now on Amazon.

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