No one throws a sub-editor through a window, either … even when they take a red pencil to the very first line of an earth-shattering exposé”
There is no real estate lift-out featured with the headline “why it’s never been a better time to buy”
No one is asked to file 1000 words for page one and 500 “for the website”
No one is stabbed with a newspaper spike
It is journalistic tradition to ring a giant bell when you finish a story
There is no furious debate over whether to drop the cartoons to make more room for bigger stories
Hot type and Xerox machines became obsolete in journalism at least a year ago
There is way too little smoking in the office
No one is pictured wearing a hat with a “press” card stuck in the brim
No intern is forced to do a Starbucks run for pumpkin lattes
Journalists never succumb to random monologuing
There are no car chases or action montages
Tom Hanks makes editors seem “dangerously likeable”
Bob Odenkirk is pictured using something called a “pay phone”
No one rolls up their sleeves to reveal a tattoo in an edgy German newspaper font
No one sits around trying to make puns out of the names of Thai restaurants
In one scene, you can clearly see that someone has managed to solve the daily Sudoku
The Pentagon Papers are unveiled through cloak-and-dagger journalism rather than being discovered in a cabinet in a second-hand shop
My new thriller Game Of Killers: The Spartan is out now as an ebook and paperback.