“It’s the perfect time to go live on the Moon”, Gen X-Y told
The Federal Government has introduced a bold new scheme to solve Australia’s housing affordability crisis – and it’s literally out of this world!
In a daring response to the crippling double-digit prices rises pushing entire generations out of the market, first-home buyers will now be exclusively eligible to travel via spacecraft and rocket ship and purchase homes on the Moon.
The Australian Government has secured prime real estate on the lunar lava plain known as the Sea Of Tranquillity. Held specifically in reserve for young families, Gen X and Y types not “on a good wage” and those in marginal electorates, this location is now available for bold astronauts and terraformers who find the real estate market on Earth too difficult to crack.
The Government has teamed up with Elon Musk’s SpaceX to transport the first bold new adventures to their prospective new homes.
Each interstellar homesteader – to be chosen by government ballot – will be able to purchase Moon homes from $100,000. Space tradies are already busy constructing the first homes, which range from charming one-bedders, two-bedder starter homes, multi-domed delights, “Moon McMansions” and many more.
The Government is expected to announce further details of the “first Moon home owners scheme” in the upcoming Federal budget.
“We have heard the struggles young people are having cracking the increasingly competitive home market, particularly in the thriving capital cities of Sydney and Melbourne,” said the Minister and Lead Astronaut for Homes, Gene Spock.
“This initiative will allow prospective home owners to get a first, virtually gravity-free foot into the housing market.”
Mr Spock denied that entire shuttleloads had been lost already due to unspecified forces.
“There is also no truth to the rumours that the alien ‘greys’ have objected to large-scale human colonisation and have taken numerous human captives as sex slaves to live with them in their underground Moon chambers,” he said, eyes darting side to side and beads of sweat forming on his brow.
“We continue to work with all existing stakeholders – both human and, errr, ‘other’ – to make the ‘first Moon home owners scheme’ work.”
Nevertheless, Mr Spock admitted there would be teething problems at first. Yet he said that those keen enough would “pull up their socks” and overlook the gravity problems, lack of greenery, the risk of shuttles exploding mid-flight, the crippling isolation from the rest of humanity, the lack of wi-fi and cafés and the occasion “alien predation”.
“Critics have complained too long that this government is doing nothing to solve the housing crisis,” he said. “We remain to see the Opposition suggest such an innovative scheme.”
Mr Spock refused to rule out that Moon homes could be negatively geared or that “Moon land banking” could potentially be a future issue.
When further questioned if this meant that the Government had found the Earth housing crisis too hard to solve and had simply given up, he played the pre-recorded noise of a shuttle blasting off into space, silencing all further questions.
My ebook military thriller The Spartan is also out of this world.